I rushed through the door, sobbing and cursing anything and everything. I dropped my school bags on the couch and rushed to the bathroom. I could not believe her! My best friend had gone and started stupid rumors behind my back because she thought I was stealing the lime light. She was the attention hog, and that was just one more thing piled up on top of everything else.
My boyfriend, Ludwig, and I, shared a small house. We’d been together for a little while and decided to leaved our parents; they were abusive, drunk, and druggies. We were renting a small house because were still in high school, and the landlord was threatening to kick us out. We were running low on money and couldn’t get the rent in on time.
On the subject of money, my boss was threatening to fire me. I worked part time at a local grocery store, and I apparently wasn’t working hard enough. I had to juggle work, school, the finances and my homework.
Oh, and there’s one more thing to shove in; I didn’t understand one thing about school. The work and everything we did was just a huge confusing mass of words and numbers. I tried staying up at night to figure it out, but I ended up in tears, slumped over my work exhausted. Ludwig would come home and find me passed out and have to carry me to bed.
And poor Lud; he worked at a large power plant, lifting and moving things around all day. The blonde haired, blued eyed German was huge. He was tall, about half a foot taller than his older, so called ‘Prussian’ brother. He always kept his platinum blonde hair slicked back and usually wore a tight, black muscle shirt which showed off his chest and stomach quite nicely. He was a large, somewhat burly man. He had a broad, muscular chest with thick, sinewy arms that were crazy strong, but amazingly gentle as well. He was well built but he was always too tense. I could feel the knots in his muscles from too much stress when he stopped moving long enough to let me rub his back. He had to work during the day so he had to take night classes to get his education. The man hardly ever got sleep or time off.
I couldn’t do this anymore. It was too much stress and it was killing us! I was getting sick from so much stress and tension. I had a continuous fever that never left and my stomach was starting to feel queasy as of late. I couldn’t… I just could not take it any longer.
I made my way to the bathroom, miraculously, and crouched over the toilet ready to wretch. I didn’t, thank goodness, but I could feel the bile settling back in my stomach. It burned my throat and reeked in my nose. I sighed shakily and stood up. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt tears sting at my eyes. My hair was a tangled mess; my _______ eyes had dark circles under them and were red and puffy from crying. My face was red and tear-streaked. I wiped at my eyes and then noticed something in the reflection of the mirror. Ludwig’s razor.
No! Bad _______! Don’t even think about it. That’s very very bad!! But… it would end everything. All the pain and stress, the migraines and achy muscles, it would be over. I would be free. I grabbed the razor and started wiggling it free from the plastic. Once I held it to my wrist, a stern, pale, blonde haired, blued eyed face flashed in the back of my mind. I shook my head. He’d be better off without me. He could go live with his brother and actually make something of himself. He had a smart head on his shoulders and it needed to be put to good use.
I knew I would have to make the cut deep, so I sliced hard and fast, hoping to make it as painless as possible. Just as I dropped the now bloody razor, I heard the front door open. I’d completely forgotten that Ludwig was actually going to home early. I listened as the blade tinkled almost prettily against the tile floor.
“_______! I’m home,” the German called out. I was breathing heavily already, blood flowing easily from the slice on my wrist. It was staining my clothes and the bathroom rug. I fell back against the bathroom wall with a loud thump and was struggling to hold myself up.
“Lud…” I whispered. I heard footsteps as my vision started turning fuzzy from tears and loss of blood. I would miss him.
“Mein Gott!! _______!” he cried. I saw him rush into the small bathroom and kneel in front of me. I hadn’t even realized that I’d sunk to the floor. He grabbed a wad of toilet paper and pressed it firmly to the lengthy gash. I winced at the pain and looked at him. “Vat vere you zinking?” he asked as he quickly worked to staunch the bleeding with gauze and toilet paper. We were both covered in my blood by now. I watched him work frantically, feeling myself come back a little bit. I blinked, letting my eyes settle on his large hands as they worked delicately on my thin wrist. He continued muttering to himself more than anything as he wrapped the fatal wound.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled. He looked up at me and I saw silent tears streaming down his cheek. His ice blues eyes were frightened and worried and distraught. He pulled me into a tight hug, completely ignoring the blood that was covering us. I started sniffling and clutched at his shoulder blades. I knew he was crying, but he was doing his best to comfort me.
“_______. _______, libeling,” he said softly. He carefully pulled away from me and I looked at my hands. He cupped my face in his hands, rubbing away tears with calloused fingers. “Liebe, vat vere you zinking. Vhy did you do zat?” he asked. I shook my head, still not raising my head.
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to put up with everything anymore. I can’t do it. I can’t take the stress. I’m sorry Ludwig,” I whispered shakily. He sighed and pulled my face up. I looked into his eyes and started crying softly. The German pulled me into his lap and grabbed a rag off the side of the tub. He gently began cleaning up the huge, crimson mess that I’d made.
“Ve’re going to get zrough it, I promise. I’m sure how yet, but ve vill,” he told me, wiping at the blood on us. “Please, please don’t ever do zis again. Bitte… Ich wieβ nicht was ich tun würde, wenn ich verloren immer Sie…Ich kann dich nicht verlieren” he was cradling me close, completely forgetting about the cloth and the blood. “Ich liebe diche _______. More zan anyzing.” He was crying again, clear tears falling from his beautiful blue eyes. I nodded as I leaned forward. He met me half-way and our lips pressed together. It was a firm, almost desperate kiss. He was kissing me so deeply, yet oh so carefully. He couldn’t lose me, he would go crazy. I’d been slapped once by my mother while she was drunk while I still lived with her and I’d run all the way to Ludwig’s house and he’d been so scared something was going to happen.
“I love you too Ludwig. I’m sorry I scared you,” I said, pulling away and resting my head on his shoulder. He opened his mouth to reply, but the slamming of our front door made us both jump.
“Vest!! Vere are you!? I have awesome news!!” Gilbert, Ludwig’s older brother, yelled out excitedly. We heard him tromping about the house and knew he would find us eventually. Ludwig stood and helped me to my feet. We knew we looked like a wreck, but Gilbert had seen worse than this when he was in high school. He wasn’t part of the infamous ‘Bad Touch Trio’ for nothing.
“Bruder!” Ludwig called as we walked into the living room. “In here!” We listened to loud scuffling sounds and soon enough, the albino was tripping into the living room, his bird flying in circles above his head.
“Vest! I have awesome news…was ist passiert?” he had switched from English to German. Great. I hated when they decided to speak in fast, unintelligible German.
“Was ist passiert?” Gilbert repeated.
“Sie benutzte meinen Rasiere zu… uh…”
“Du machst Witze. Ist alles in Ordnug?”
“Jetzt. Der Stress hat gerade ein wenig viel. Wir stehen noch kaum damit.”
“Nun, es ist eine gute Sache, ich bin hier, dann! Ich habe-!”
“Stop!” I cried, interrupting their quick, guttural German. I watched as they spoke, eyes widening, shoulders shrugs. My gosh it was annoying when they decided to do that. “English! Please!”
“Vell, I just got promoted at my job and ve are hiring,” the albino said, winking at his younger brother. “It’s not hard at all and it’s really good pay too! Und you,” he turned to me, “can be my secretary.” I gaped at him, flabbergasted. There was no way a chance like this was that simple, and not only that but I had stuff I already had to do.
“B-but… I already have a part time job here and I’ve got school and-!”
“Ah, so now I hear vat zat’s all about,” he said, pointing to my bandaged wrist. I blushed and hid my arm behind my back. “Zis is vhere ze awesome me comes in. I vas a genius in high school, just ask Vest. I can help you study and get your grades up. So zen you can go tell ze landlord to go f-“
“Gil,” Ludwig said warningly. The albino huffed and rolled his eyes.
“Go screw himself. You can work as a secretary and quit your old job at zat grocery store. You can work part time until you graduate and zen you both can come live near ze awesomeness that is me!” he finished, grinning widely.
“Are… are you serious? We could leave? We could have better jobs, a better house and just better lives?” I asked quietly, trying not to squeal from excitement. He nodded triumphantly and quirked an eyebrow at his younger brother.
“No catch?” Ludwig said, raising his own blonde eyebrow. The albino shook his head.
“No catch. Zis is all to help ze two of you,” he said. I jumped at Gilbert, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.
“Gilbert you are the best!!” I cried, hugging him tightly as he spun us around.
“Kesesese,” he laughed and set me on my feet. “Looks like someone’s alveady liking mein awesome idea vest,” he said as I pulled away. I turned to Ludwig, a grin on my face. I saw his lips quirk up a bit and he held his arms out. I simply took that as a yes!
“Thank you Luddy!!” I said, giggling as I hugged him tightly. I kissed him on the mouth, sighing as I thought about everything that had happened within the last five minutes and all the weight that had been lifted off my shoulders. Finally, things are starting to look up. Ludwig deepened the kiss, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Vould you two get a room?!”